Ode to Dog

There is a black dog outside my house today, a puppy, kind of cute and ugly at once, and very friendly. Unfortunately it's going to be a couple of years before I can get a dog- not until I stop moving around so much. I will probably adopt a mongrel, or a husky, or a golden retriever. Arctic wolf's are also beautiful, but those big dogs are not for cities, it's too unfair. Huskies should be out in the hills, with snow at least once a year. There, that's my thoughts on the matter.
Working dogs are the best ones, smart and loyal and not egotistical shits who preen themselves like little princesses.
nuff about dogs, just a bolt of energy on the topic, now it's gone again...


but gee i would love one!
7/07/03 blogpost @ Satellite Movement

The black dog is still there, and some people have taken to feeding it. I noticed it has a pretty big wound on its leg, so I'm going to try and find a vet. I hope I can also find an owner for it. It is very calm and sweet, and I am hoping that it is not too sick, looks healthy enough but given that it could /have been stray for a while, who knows. I can't believe such a good natured animal could be stray. 
08/07/03


So, I found a vet finally, an indian guy who did a house call. The wound has been treated and is looking a lot better. . He seems pretty house trained...while he was recovering from his sedation i had him in the kitchen and he wined to go out to 'potty'. As soon as I let him out on the balcony he went for it. Unfortunately, much as I would love to keep him, I think it will be pretty impossible, so Im going to have to find him a home. I have been told there is a group called K9 who are a dog rescue service, who apparently help out in such a case. Cross your fingers for me that it all works out well.
10/07/03

So I let the dog out this morning and he has gone, whether permanently or not I don't know, but they destroyed his 'hang out' place outside, chopped down all the plants, and probably scared the bejeezus out of him. Great. I tell you this whole dog thing is making me so bloody homesick for a NORMAL place to live, which I am in control of, where I get to choose where I live and renting a place with a garden for a dog is not an impossible logistical and financial task like it is here, and where I have rights.....Living in this country it is the unexpected which pisses me off more than anything. I was prepared for the whole sexual and racial prejudice thing, and sure that pisses me off and I bitch and moan about it, but it is the unexpected which really throws me. Like the fact that the police drive around and shoot stray or roaming dogs, and that kids here throw stones at them.

What about the rest of the day, yep I can bitch about that too. Maybe it is homesickness, maybe it's 'dog' stress, but the hole freakin day has been shite. All I want to do is sleep. I think it is the feeling of working in an underressourced company without seniors there to advise me when I need advice, or worse still unable to give the advice.

Right, gotta get back to the hell hole.
 12/07/03


Remember that song 'Moving to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches' ? It keeps popping into my head, perhaps because I am officially moving to Baraimi, although not to eat peaches. I am moving with my newly adopted dog, Dusty, to a humungous house on the other side of the border. Yep, Im moving to Oman. I will be the person you see catching a Baraimi taxi into Al Ain everyday for the next year.
Bloody wonderful.
I got to go new furniture shopping in Dubai today, and will move in on the weekend. Great.

Right, other than that, life is fine. Dog is good, and im guessing I may be offline for a while, while I get everything ship shape and connected in the new place.
21/07/03

that's what the news will be telling me when i see the icycles at the end of my nose!

No more Dubai. I left 2 weeks ago, in case i forgot to tell you. It had to happen, and now it is done. I go fetch dog Dusty from quarantine tomorrow, and the ship with my two giant boxes arrives in about a week. And, I am in the process of sorting out Uni Enrollments, Housing, Jobs, Removals and all the fun stuff that happens when you change hemispheres.

Missing people? Yep, although i have been so freakin' busy i havent had time to scratch meself!

But wish in a way Dubai wasnt so far away. Havent even moved into my new place and am getting people telling me they are keen to visit. I hope so. If I mention the words '2 minutes walk to the beach' maybe they will be convinced.

SO there we go. Funny how word gets out tho. been home two weeks and people are popping out of the woodwork and contacting me. Tis nice actually.
29/04/05


The above posts are from my old blog Satellite Movement around the time I found my dog when I lived in the UAE. Nearly 10 years ago I found this beautiful dog. One of the best decisions of my life to keep him. Feeling a tad sentimental.

The experienced mum: and how they make you want to yell and scream at them

I have my pissed of grumpy hat on right now after copping yet another bloody platitude about motherhood from an experienced mum.

I've noticed there are two distinct types of experienced mums. There are the understanding ones who say "yeah, I went through that, it's tough, come over for a cuppa if you are feeling you need some company" and then there are the (not in so many words) " suck it up" mums, the ones who gave compassion a back seat and thought to themselves "I managed, why can't you?"

The "you just have to change your expectations" comments that make you want to yell and scream at them. The completely emabaressing out of context, poorly timed, not so discreet comment " maybe you should read some books about adjusting to motherhood".....the "is your child still not sleeping through, oh, well, you'll just have to blah blah blah". And then there are the "in my day" comments.
In themselves these comments might be fairly benign,  but inevitably they come out without any consideration to context or impact, tending not to see each individuals own journey and rather thinking only of their own.

They also tend to be the ones that come out with the "mums have to stick together" platitudes. Arrgghhhh, save me. Then Do it my dears, don't just truck out your empty words. Follow the lead of your friend with offering a cuppa. Band around those mums struggling rather than trecking out the nicest way to say suck it up and get over it. 

Rant

I've been considering joining the boxing gym around the corner because I am way way out of shap. Or maybe I should take up running- what an old friend calls shuffling. Either way I am in need of venting physically my frustration somehow. I also think this blog is going to become less interesting to anyone but my self as increasingly it might became my rant space. Unless I set up a rant specific space. I am currently listening to my toddler squealing and refusing to nap (at least three hours over due for it and this is the third attempt to get him down). And fuming at people's blasé ness which I will soon follow up on in a post which I will title "the experienced mum:what they say which makes you want to yell and scream at them". If you aren't noticing yet...once again I have had a gutful and my cheery self is hidden further away than usual. I do have a cheery self - it just got lost with sleep deprivation and the sense of being unsupported, coupled with being dumped by a good friend, nightmares about losing babies and not being taken seriously at hospital and nightmares about not having a voice. I've been awake since 4am again, and heaven help the next person to say something helpful. Do they realise how friggin patronising it is. Stop giving helpful comments and start being helpful. Come over and help me finish painting the house, cleaning up the garden, ten thousand loads of washing, taking crap to the tip, moving a tonne of soil from the side path, and look after the boy for a bit so I can have some god damn time to do some painting. I'm sick of doing all that crap alone and then dealing with platitudes about "changing expectations" when you become a parent.

Phones and Moving things

It's all about moving things and phones around here lately. Trolleys are for sitting in, bikes for investigating, and everything is a phone. Having lots of fun with the boy....so not on the compu much. Planning to get back into it when I get creative again. And to take a few photos of the boys new room. We moved rooms around and popped him in a warmer bigger, sunnier room. So much better. No more freezing my proverbials off at 3am!

Linking in with Jodi @ Che& Fidel for a weekly portrait. 

Finding the mental space to face the mental space

I've been putting it off for well over a year. I've avoided it and waited for it to pass somewhat, but I've known sooner or later I would need to make the appointments to get my head examined...yes, it's time to go see the shrink. Post partum post traumatic stress combined with post natal depression and sustained sleep deprivation takes energy to manage through, and even more energy to confront head on- but it's time. I'm ready. I have the mental space to face my mental space.

My plan is to make a series of appointments and slowly unravel it all and to find tools to lessen the impact- to be able to talk about the weeks leading up to troubles birth without that faraway look in my eye.

There are probably some other life skeletons I can dig up while I am at it. Other traumas I didn't fully deal with, and who knows what else.

It's a good time to do it. Before trouble gets too big and my hang ups start to affect him....

I'm pretty proud of the fact that mr rugby and  I managed to deal with the most stressfull year and traumatic year of our life without turning to any kind of  ....pharmaceuticals...recreationals...or good old alcohol. I guess breast feeding helps on that front. So there's that. Sure mr rugby eats his nails and I split mine, I get seperatoon anxiety and micro panic attacks when trouble and mr rugby go out somewhere....but it could have been a lot lot worse.

I don't know how parents of micro prems do it- months of high tension tightrope walking through babies early days. Surgeries, repeated emergencies. I salute them!!

Anyway, there we are finally I can face getting my head read....should be fun don't you think (winks***)